Thursday, December 31, 2015

Year in review 2015

Adult Crash here for our final entry of 2015. While Malvo is out and about making a fool of himself on this New Years Eve, I am at home watching this Alabama vs Michigan State game.

I wanted to take this opportunity to put in another entry for another year of fun for you all. Yes, we had some more good times this year and yes, we're hoping for some more in the year to come. This year I introduced Malvo to a Morrissey cover band that he suffered through, but didn't suffer enough because he was mocking just about everybody in the place for enjoying some good music.


We also debated which record was better, the Gorilla Biscuits 7" or the 12"? Or D.R.I.'s Crossover or Dealing With It? All while Malvo was striking out with the bartender with his not so smooth moves. By the way, these are the correct answers. 




We also got introduced to a fantastic band from the U.K. called Violent Reaction. We both agree that they're one of the top 5 bands on Revelation these days. I'm pretty sure that Malvo is still kicking himself for missing them in D.C. a few months back. Some fan he is...


We also found out that Malvo should not be allowed to babysit your kids at his place. He mocks me for not having posters or records lying around my place for my kids to see, but meanwhile, he has them in his office for his nieces and nephews to see. And then he's worried about getting yelled at when they see disturbing images like this...



But I will give credit where credit is due. My boy gave you all a good rant about the silliness of people bitching about credit cards like these...


Seriously, who fucking cares? If you really think that "punk is officially dead" because of this, then you need to get your head examined. This will not stop kids from starting up new bands and doing their own thing for years to come. Get over yourselves. 

This year got me into a little bit of trouble with my wife when Malvo got himself a new record player with an MP3 connection. We spent 3 weekends in a row ripping records that we had no digital copies of. I asked him to rip the Misfits "12 Hits From Hell" LP and Malvo was all over it like a fat kid to a Twinkie. However, he also suggested that we rip the Borderline 7"... I question his taste in music sometimes.


This year also brought us a weird soap opera between John Stabb of G.I. and some former member that was posting weird stuff on Facebook as G.I. This went on for a couple of weeks and was somewhat entertaining to us. 


We also got to interview a swell guy by the name of Conner Donegan from Protester and a few other bands. We loved that Protester 7" so much that we had to talk to this young buck to see what was rattling around in his head. Malvo even got to see them play a couple of months ago in D.C. and he was making me jealous with his review. In any case, if you haven't heard Protester or Red Death or Genocide Pact, then you are missing out. These are some quality bands from the area that deserve your attention. Check them out! 


And lastly, Malvo got to see Fuck You Pay Me not too long ago. I'm glad he went so he could give me a review of how they were live. Too bad it cost him an arm and a leg with his girlfriend, but better him than me. Anyway, he said they were great and I wish I could've gone too, but no dice. 


All in all 2015 was a good year. It also marks 2 years of us doing this blog and I hope that we continue doing it for years to come. I mean where else are you going to hear funny stories about a 40 something acting like a casanova to a bartender and getting shot down? Or how that same 40 something shit his pants coming back from a show? That's right, Malvo shit his pants in 2015. He was too embarrassed by this and refused to talk about it in the blog even though I thought it would make for a great story. Well, since he's out and about acting like Frank the Tank at some bar, I will share this nugget with you. I mean what's he going to do? Tell you all who I am? Not likely since it would reveal who he is too. 

Anyway, remember that Morrissey show that we went to in Baltimore? Well, we were cruising back from that show and he insisted on going out on the town. I couldn't go since I had to get back to the family, so I dropped him off at U Street. He knows people there and there's plenty of places to get a drink. Well, he sends me a text the next day to tell me that he had a crazy night in a not so good way. Turns out, he went out and had some jumbo slice at the end of the night that did not sit well with him. He eventually got on the train to go home and as he put it "had a war between races in his gut." I'm already laughing at the hardcore reference there, but I knew there would be a pay off later, so I restrained my laughter for then. 

So he's on his way home and it's late. Like 3AM late and there's nothing open going into VA. He finally gets to his stop in the hopes that he can use the bathroom. But to his horror, it was out of service. He says that he goes into the parking garage looking for a private area that he could, again, in his own words, "unleash the fury." HAHAHA 

In his infinite wisdom, he did it near an exit of the parking garage. Just outside of the meters that you pay to get out. Apparently, as he was doing his business, a car was coming through the exit and two women looked over and saw him "doing the nasty." They drove through and he remembers one of them saying something along the lines of "oh my god, he's taking a shit!" 

This did not deter him and he proceeded to remove his undies all together to wipe and then walk home. Mind you, he doesn't exactly live within walking distance of the stop. Its about 3 miles away, but again, as he put it, "there was no way a cabbie was going to let Doo Doo Brown get into his car." 

HAHAHAHAHA

He can never dispute this story because I have the texts to prove it. HA! 

Happy new year everybody! 

D.C.S. 


Sunday, December 20, 2015

How record shopping turned into a Christmas Miracle!

It's been a while since we've done anything here. Adult Crash has been busy with the family over this holiday season and I've been busy with work. Neither one of us has done much of anything for the last two and a half months. Getting old sucks. For Crash, that trend continues. For yours truly, things got interesting yesterday.

My girlfriend and I were planning on seeing Star Wars last night, but I convinced her to go record shopping with me beforehand. We stop by Crooked Beat and I found a copy of the Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine - Enhanced Methods of Questioning LP. Solid find for our first stop.



After that purchase, I drag her up the street to Smash! to see if I can find something else and lo and behold, I found the newest pressing of the Turning Point Discography by Think Fast Records. I've seen a lot of people talking about this release being killer, but I had no idea why? Well, as it turns out, there's more songs on here. Awesome! At this point, my girl is giving me the, can we go now look. Okay fine. I pay up and we're on our way to geek out over Star Wars.



BUT WAIT! What do I see out of the corner of my eye as we walk out the door? This flyer...

    


Now, I've already got plans to see Star Wars with my girl after the record shopping, but Fuck You Pay Me is in town! They played Baltimore some time ago and I missed it, but I couldn't pass this up. I mean they were less than 10 blocks away and the doors had already opened. I proceed to beg my girlfriend to delay our Star Wars plans. I even reverted to child-like begging with something along the lines of "if you let me go see FYPM it can be my christmas present and my birthday present for this year! She was less than thrilled about it, but she agreed. Certain details were hammered out and away we go!

She drops me off and I walk in to a packed house of people. Apparently, the show had a late start so I didn't miss anything! First up was Nuclear Age? I question this because at the end of their set the singer said they were Heatwave. Maybe a name change? Who knows? Anyway, they sounded pretty good. Nice mosh and they got a good response from the crowd. Wouldn't mind seeing more of them in the future. Their set was too short, but I still have to see Star Wars with my girl who is waiting sooooo. Next band please!

Next band up was looking like a reunion of The First Step. I was never a big fan of them. I know they were huge, but they just didn't do it for me. I ask a guy at the bar if it was supposed to be a reunion and he says "no, they're a new band called Union of Faith." Interesting.

They come on and I have to say that they sounded pretty good. People were losing their minds and moshing away. I think they had like 6 songs and I was impressed. However, I only saw cassettes for their demo which was disappointing. They finish their set with a Minor Threat cover of Betray. Great song, but I wish they hadn't done it. Not because they didn't do it justice, but because my girl was texting me asking if I was ready to go yet?

Finally, I see FYPM setting up and I'm getting excited. Before I go any further, let me tell you all how much this show is costing me. I have a girlfriend that is annoyed with me for delaying our visit to the movies to see Star Wars. She went off to a coffee shop to kill time while I wait for FYPM to come on. This great injustice is going to cost me about $250 for some place called Red Door Spa. Ouch...

Well, the band is ready to go and I move up a little closer so I can get a picture before retreating to the back again. You see, I also had to promise my girl that I wasn't going to emerge from this show a sweaty mess. She guaranteed that my gift certificate to her spa was going to cost me more money if she had to sit next to me in a theater smelling like a sweaty mess.


Well, they got things started with my favorite song, Fuck You Pay Me and the place went nuts. The band sounds great live and Erba is officially one of my favorite front men. His banter and lack of filter was priceless. He was interacting with people that were just standing around and just getting in your face for sing alongs through out their set. He's like a combination of Raybeez, Jimmy Gestapo and Jello Biafra all rolled into one. A little political with some funny banter and crowd control. Unfortunately, their set had to come to an end, but they left an impression on me. I immediately went and purchased their new LP and took off for my date night.


There were still a few more solid bands that played afterward, but there was no way I could blow off the entire night for a hardcore show. Not unless I wanted to be in the dog house for the rest of this fiscal year. I can only assume that the other bands tore that place up too.

Props to my girlfriend for giving me a playful jab when I got into the car and thanking her for her patience.

Her: You happy you got to see your show?
Me: Yeah, thanks babe. You're the best.
Her: Oh yeah? Fuck you, pay me!
Me: Well played...

D.C.S.