If you have kids...

If you've been reading our blog for any amount of time, you know that Adult Crash has a stable of kids at home. What he doesn't have is any records, shirts, posters, cd's or anything in general related to hardcore lying around his house. Partly because his old lady aka The Warden, would never allow him to decorate any part of their crib with a poster like this.

Anyway, I, unlike him, have stuff littered in my office related to hardcore and music in general. What I also have in my office is a wide screen t.v. and my Xbox One. Recently, my sister's mother in-law dropped off my niece with me to watch until she could pick her up later on. My niece is 8 and thinks of me as the coolest guy on earth. Probably because I let her do just about anything she wants. Normally, I am not called upon for babysitting duties, but she was in a pinch and needed help, so I obliged. God knows that Adult Crash would never let me babysit his kids. I have to watch what I say all the time. It's like North Korea in their household.

Now, my idea of babysitting involves me playing on my Xbox while she colors or watches, or both. This time around, I was in the middle of an intense Deathmatch and my niece is doing her thing, but after a while she got really quiet. As it turns out she was eye balling my records that are set up behind me. No big deal, right? Wrong...

I could hear her talking to herself and it went a little like this.

Niece: Whoa, that looks creepy. Like an alien or a monster.
(I thought she was talking about the game)
Me: What are you doing?
Niece: Looking at this....wow that ladies face looks scary.
Me: Yo, I asked you something. What are you doing?
Niece: That is really gross, there's blood everywhere.

At this point, I just died in the game and I almost wish I had died in real life. Because I turned around and she is eyeballing my Dead Kennedys - Plastic Surgery Disasters LP and The Exploited - Jesus Is Dead e.p. She was examining these two records like a fucking archeologist examining fossils.

Now, the Dead Kennedys record isn't soooo bad, but that Exploited record might as well be porn. My jaw dropped and I immediately get her away from those awesome records and re-direct her attention to my t.v. The last thing I need to hear from my sister is how I am corrupting her "precious cargo".

I tried to change the subject but she wasn't ready to let go of what she just saw.

Niece: Dead Kennedys...that's not nice.
Me: Uh yeah. So, you wanna go out and get some ice cream?
Niece: Okay...did those ladies put Jesus on the cross?

FUCK ME!

Me: Ummm no, they're there to help him.
Niece: Why do they have skeletons for faces? And why is there so much blood?
Me: OK, WE'RE GETTING ICE CREAM! LET'S GO!

Thankfully, she stopped talking about it once we got some ice cream. So far, my sister hasn't called to read me the Riot Act. Hopefully she never does. I talked to Adult Crash about this and he couldn't stop laughing at me. He laughs at me in a time of need. Some friend.

D.C.S.

Violent Reaction

Adult Crash here and taking the lead on this entry. Over the weekend I received a call from Malvo who was acting like a raving lunatic about some record that he just got in the mail. He sounded like one of my kids on a sugar high. The record that had him bouncing off the walls was the new Violent Reaction LP that Revelation Records put out. I was bombarded with "dude, you gotta hear this record!" over and over again. Now, before I let him give his two cents about this LP, I will give my own.

First off, I like the front and back cover photos to the album. (I happen to be a fan of black and white photos.) The insert is okay, it has the essentials lyrics, thank you's and a live shot. Oh and he was lucky enough to get it on orange vinyl. That record collecting nerd is giddy about that. Anyway, I give the packaging a thumbs up.

Onto the music...Wow. These guys have the 80's sound down pat and the vocals remind me of Negative Approach. This thing starts off with a killer intro that goes full force into the second song and the fury doesn't stop. I'm impressed. I don't know much about these guys but this record is kick ass. I think my favorite song on here is Bored To Death, but every song on here just rips shit up!  In his rabid craze, Malvo informed me that they had just come through D.C. recently and that we could've gone to see them. Ah well, next time. I may have to steal Malvo's download code before he puts it on his computer...

Malvo here, let me burst his bubble right now. I already downloaded that code. Get your own you bum!

Anyway, Adult Crash exaggerates. I was not behaving like some loon because of a record. I may have been really stoked on this thing because it felt like I had been grabbed by the throat and thrown around my living room. Like Crash said, this thing is good. Fucking better than good! My favorite song is "War" and I probably listened to it like 30 times in a row. But songs like "Leave Me Out" and "Bored To Death" make me wanna X up and go straight edge. Seriously, this album reminds me of my youth. I remember hearing the first two Minor Threat ep's and being so blown away that I almost went straight edge. (Thank god I didn't, because I would've done it for all the wrong reasons.) I sort of had the same feeling after reading the lyrics to this record. All you straight edge kids are gonna love this band/album. Take my word for it.

Unfortunately, my girlfriend doesn't share my enthusiasm about this fantastic piece of wax. I was blasting this in my car and she just looked at me and shook her head and said "No." Apparently, she would rather listen to "Happy" by Pharrell. I may have to re-evaluate our relationship...

THIS MEANS WAR!

D.C.S.